I know we, girls, want a boyfriend who would photograph every moment we have together even the nonsense ones but we just can't have it all. In this relationship, I'm the one who wants to take pictures ALL THE DAMN TIME whether it is a selfie or a groupie, you name it, i'll capture it. Tbh my brain's short term memory is poor and so I forget things that happen just days ago and my remedy for this is to capture as many moments as I could possibly can and look back at them, smile and be thankful that they all happened. 

I took this photograph of my boyfriend because I love what he was wearing. A V-neck shirt, maroon pants and black shoes. Simple yet captivating. 

These are the candid and not-so-candid shots my friend took.. 

I think you can conclude that I'm not the ordinary type of girlfriend.

I'm crazy, makes me wonder why binalikan niya ako. hahaha. 

MCL @ 9

Happy Foundation week, MCL!

May kanta na "Miss kita 'pag Tuesday" pero baliktad sa sitwasyon namin kasi tuwing Tuesday ko siya whole day kasama. Tuwing Tuesday ko lang siya hindi namimiss. hihi. 

This will be short kasi gusto ko lang naman i-share yung coincidence na parehas kaming may captain america na suot. Shirt yung sakin, shoes yung kanya. I love unplanned moments like this. I love him. 

I knew it wasn't over..

I'm glad I convinced/forced you last night to talk to me in person because all failed relationships need closure. You can't just end things through SMS and get away with it, you know.

I was at school, Malayan Colleges Laguna, because it was our enrollment day. I was with my friend, Karlo, outside room 200 where our CM's (Certificate of Matriculation) were being processed. I told him that I was supposed to talk to my EX today to formally end things. After getting our CM's, he asked me where I would go next since we were officially enrolled, then I looked back smiling and there I saw my EX, we were both wearing stripes, his face was so emotionless as in define "POKER FACE", I mean, he's the one who broke my heart and yet he's the one with the grouchy face and I'm the one smiling. (Bad decision breaking up with me, maybe? JK) Anyway, I answered Karlo after seeing my EX, "dito lang ako, siguro"

I waited for him until he finished enrolling then we talked at SP (South Point) and even though I rehearsed it in my head countless of times, nung kaharap na kita, I got lost for words. Di ko na alam sasabihin ko, shet.

I said, "Di ka ba natutuwa?"
He said, "Bakit?"
I answered, "Kasi parehas tayo ng damit"
You laughed and said "Last night, humingi ako ng sign na kapag sinuot mo rin yung stripes mong damit, babalikan kita"
And kidding, I said "Thank you Lord!!"

Tapos after a long conversation, dumating na sa point na nag-agree na kami na maging friends nalang pero as soon as we both agreed, tinabihan niya ako, he put his head on my arm and asked, "Gusto mo pa ba?" Di ko alam sasabihin ko, eto yung gusto kong marinig pero ngayong narinig ko na, di ko alam pano mag-respond. Sabi pa niya, "Kanina ko pa pinipigilan sarili ko, gusto kitang yakapin." and so he did and I did nothing but thank God because the love of my life is now hugging me just when I thought I would never feel this again.

Long story short, we got back together. Pero, secret lang daw muna. Nung nalaman kasi sa side ng family niya na wala na kami, tuwang tuwa daw sila. Not because ayaw nila sakin or anything pero kasi siya yung inaasahan sa kanila eh and they want nothing more but for their son to graduate and have a great job and maybe having a girlfriend would hinder that kaya nung wala na si girlfriend, natuwa sila. Medyo masakit, I'll admit. Ayun, natakot siya na baka 'pag nalaman na binalikan niya girlfriend niya, baka tamarin na yung nagpapa-aral sa kanya pagaralin siya kaya I agreed nalang. Para sakin, mas okay na yung patago siyang akin, kesa mawala siya ng tuluyan sa buhay ko. Sabi nga, "You can never be friends with someone you have feelings for"

After talking, sinamahan ko siya sa SM kasi bibili siya ng school supplies. Kumain kami sa Mang Inasal and after that, umuwi na kami. I wished that day would never end pero kailangan eh. I know the more I long for you, the more my heart would want you. I love you so much. Thanks for coming back into my life.

Benefit of the doubt

Maybe I should have given him the benefit of the doubt. He is a closed book. He feels and thinks things but cannot express it completely to you. I don't know what's going on in his head the entire time and I have this bad habit of jumping into conclusions. Maybe he was so confused and stressed out that made him do things that he doesn't really want to do. I don't know. I guess I just miss him and I hate the thought that maybe he doesn't feel the same.